Friday, 6 August 2010

Surgery's End


The Open Art Surgery came to a close on Sunday 23rd May 2010 at 5pm. Posted here is an image which contains the indexical trace of every diagnosis made and prescription given over the four week period during which the surgery ran: the carbon sheet used in the document book in which we recorded each and every patient transaction during Open Art Surgery.

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Patient Absconds

Can someone explain what happened with this work, an important piece?









Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Comparative Density Calculations of a PhD and Huw Bartlett

We were able to calculate the density, firstly of Susan Diab's PhD (in kg/m^3), next calculate Assistant Huw Bartlett's density (based on the assumption that he is composed of 5 cylinders and 1 cuboid) and then compare the two. As it turns out Huw Bartlett, by all accounts an intelligent fellow, is more dense than the PhD (twice as dense in fact).

Therefore in our view the patient is fine. Nothing to worry about here. We concur. Click on image below to enlarge:

Key Facts:
PhD Mass: 8kg
PhD Volume: 20.2litres
PhD Density: 396kg/m^3
Huw Bartlett Mass: 65kg
Huw Bartlett Volume: 84.2litres
Huw Bartlett Density: 772kg/m^3

Typically the density of the human body is about that of water (1000kg/m^3) (which explains why we sort of float). The difference here is due to the error in our assumption that Huw Bartlett can be modelled out of a cuboid and cylinders. The error can be justified by the fact that we are operating as artists not engineers. Cezanne was famous for saying that everything in nature could be represented in terms of the cylinder, the sphere and the cone stating that “one must first of all study geometric forms: the cone, the cube, the cylinder, the sphere.” Scientific or medical types might be more precise in their approaches but we're happy to defend the 772 figure above which renders Huw Bartlett extremely boyant indeed.

Perhaps in future we should use the Archimides principle to measure Huw Bartlett's volume.

The Simple Repositioning Procedure

By moving the work of Judy Stapleton so that it hung from appropriate positions on the walls of the (human) Doctor's Surgery, Dr. Gilhooly was able to improve the condition of these two patients (close relatives as it happens). The facts of green carpets and chairs in this environment only speeded up recovery time. We have recommended that the work be donated to Pavilion Surgery, not as an act of charity, but for the sake of the work's own health. See also the discussion on decoration.










The Exorcism Procedure

Given that he inadvertently numbered the piece 6(66), Assistant Huw Bartlett had primary responsibility here though the actual Exorcism was performed by Trainee Dr. O'Connell and completed by Dr. Gilhooly. Basically the procedure involves the burning, by means of sunlight and magnifying glass of three holes in the work. Three is a lucky number when dealing with luciferian tendencies or satanic issues, it represents the holy trinity, three gods in one, the triptych etc. Four is also good. Light too is an effective antidote to evil (see The Bible). Another way of describing the process used in this instance is: first Abnormalise, then Normalise.





The Sounding Procedure

For a written description of the Sounding Technique consult Dr. Jonathan Gilhooly. Image and clip below show Sounding being employed to diagnose a piece contributed by artist and Brighton Open House prize winner 2008, Phil Cole:

The Yellowfy Procedure

A scissors hanging on masking tape, then dipped in yellow paint, is suspended then lowered quickly or dropped onto the patient, raised again and the process repeated until resolution is achieved. In this case a painting by Nick Carrick benefitted from being yellowfyed:





Monday, 24 May 2010

The Operation

Footage from life saving operation:

Nanette Hoogslag in conversation

Art Termination notes Nanette Hoogslag

Notes from visiting Dutch Specialist:

‘Art Termination’ Guidelines

Early termination:

As long as the artwork itself, a reproduction in any media or any form of reference to an artwork whether spoken word, written, rough sketches has not left the creators personal environment, i.e. the studio, it can be considered as a work in progress and not fully realised. During this period the artist has the right to terminate the work in any stage of creation. The creator can terminate artworks at will. There are NO restrictions during the conceptualisation and creation phase.

In fact termination of unrealised art works is positively encouraged in order to maintain the highest standard for realised work released into the environment. Disposal of the terminated work must be done with care for there have been cases where such work was found, then revived and hung above sofas by so called art lovers. Professional Doctors of Art, who have given a vow of confidence can support the termination process but can only do this on home visits since work to be terminated at no time must be permitted to leave the artists studio.

Termination of the works depends on the particular medium. Best-known methods include shredding, burning, dissolving, chopping, scraping and melting.

Part recycling/organ donation:

Early terminated works and works that are terminally ill can be considered for part recycling. Many methods are available such as melting, dismantling and electronic wiping. Artwork on canvas, wood or other backing media can be part donated through the use of dissolving methods or the use of an eraser to wipe out the visual representations of the picture. Note that picture erasure is a necessary part of the process; otherwise the donated background might ghost and disturb the creation of the new work.
Creative ideas, sketches and concepts can be re-used by the artist or donated, without any media interference, to other artists.

Living will:

A living will is a written statement in which the artwork and human carer declare that the work would like to die through euthanasia in certain circumstances. However this does not guarantee that euthanasia will be performed. There is no such thing as 'a right of euthanasia'. However, this document will certainly made the 'official side of the process' easier, for doctors as well as for artworks. A doctor can prove, after the death of the work, that he performed euthanasia at the explicit request of that work.

There are tree types of living will, each with a different legal status. The documents are highly valued in both the medical and juridical scene. The value for the owner of these documents is therefore a lot higher than his/her own words scribbled on paper. Every artwork and carer should get four copies of the document: one to keep for himself, one to give to his General Art Practitioner, two to give to people who, by proxy, can handle his affairs in case the work lost its capability to do so.

Euthanasia request (active euthanasia): In this document, the work asks the doctor in Arts for a gentle, quick death if time might come in which there is no return to a dignified state of living to be expected. The owner of the document then describes his idea of a dignified state of living. Doctors will only perform euthanasia if the work and carer can confirm the wishes, either in saying or writing, at the time it will be performed. This document solely expresses the wishes of the work. However, if his doctor is willing to perform euthanasia, he will only do so if a document like this is signed.

Refusal of treatment document (passive euthanasia): It is written that an informed consent is necessary for all radical treatments. The Act also says that a written refusal of treatment is equally valid as an oral refusal. With this document, the work and its carer forbids any treatment other than solely based upon pain or oppression relieve if it happens to come in the circumstances in which no return to a dignified life can be expected. Again, the work's ideas of 'dignified life' will then follow. The doctor is warned that if ignores this document juridical action might be taken by, by people authorised by the work and carer. This document has a supplementary section, that regardless the medical expectations, the work refuses all further treatment other then solely based upon pain and oppression relieve. The work states that it sees its life as completed so far, that it forbids medical interventions to prolong life and would like to die a natural way.

'Do Not Resuscitate' (DNR) tag. The 'do not resuscitate' tag forbids under all circumstances every way of resuscitation. The photograph, artist’s signature, name and date of creation of the work are printed in an irremovable, unchangeable way on the tag, so that no doubts about the identity can arise by rescue personnel or doctors.